


It Was Mine

by sixwingedbee



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Angst, Family, Implied Relationship, Lost Powers, M/M, thinking about the past
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-28
Updated: 2019-10-28
Packaged: 2021-01-05 01:30:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,149
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21205808
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sixwingedbee/pseuds/sixwingedbee
Summary: It's been gone since he woke up.





	It Was Mine

Ever since recompletion, it's been gone.

Perhaps it was because of the replica, draining his Nobody of his powers. Stealing his illusions and knowledge from his very core. Ending his life.

Perhaps it was because the tome was a creation of Darkness, and Ienzo was no longer shrouded in it. He was no longer blinded by light but he struggled to stay within its rays.

Whatever the case, the lexicon was no longer in his hands. The familiar weight that kept him grounded, even when lost in his own illusions, was nothing but a memory.

Ienzo felt like his arm was missing.

Late at night, when no one could see, Ienzo would hold his hand out. Palm up, ready for the tome to just.. Appear. His magic was returning. He could cast the spells he once did as Zexion. So it should make sense that his weapon return, even without the illusions.

But time and time again, his hand remained empty.

In the back of the young man's mind he knew he should be fortunate that it was not returning. It meant he was human. That he was no longer Zexion, whose life had been so saturated in darkness and deception that it manifested in his powers. A plague he could barely control when they first appeared at his fingertips. Needing years of training with Xemnas just to control until he was left alone to figure out how to master them.

He could let go of Xemnas. The man he saw as a leader, as his mentor. At one time a brother within his own home.

He could cling to hope that Braig would return home.

But to let go of the very thing that defined him. That kept him alive and gave him purpose. A reason to be kept around.

He knew he wasn't useless. He knew those that dwelled within Radiant Garden castle didn't need him to be constantly useful. That they would always welcome him with open arms, no matter what.

But he couldn't accept it. He needed to be needed.

So he worked hard. Ienzo did everything he could to make sure this castle ran smoothly, hoping to ease some of the burden of the men who took care of him all those years ago. The ones who made sure he was safe, even when they lacked the capability to care. Or so he said..

Here he was again, alone in the dark. Far away from the residential tower, where no one should be looking for him.

“Please..” he whispered to nothing, holding his hands out. The other humans had their abilities. Why didn't he?

Dilan had always been able to command the wind. Not with the prowess his Nobody possessed, but it came to him. When he needed it to be at his back to gain speed while he attacked an enemy. To rustle the trees to scare off the kids sneaking into the castle. To bring a sweet summer breeze to tease Aeleus..

“Please.”

Even had always been cold and distant. Frost magic was a talent he learned later in life, freezing beakers and reports the moment his fingers brushed against them. It had been a struggle he was deep into when Ienzo first arrived to the castle. But it was always there. An ability that swam in his blood.

“Just once.”

Some swore the earth shook beneath Aeleus due to his size. Ienzo knew the man's connection to the tectonic plates deep beneath the world had always been there. The heavy cracks in his healing heart would probably resemble them now, wouldn't they? He never did much to show off his power or bring it to the surface. It was too dangerous, too easy to lose control. Too risky to stop what nature intended. So he kept himself centered, feeling the vibrations beneath his feet as the plates shifted. Keeping himself firm the world would quake and shudder.

Ienzo could only watch him in awe when he remained steady while the world around them swayed. While he only kept himself upright because he the man had spent so much time in his shadow before. That power he used while their Nobodies tore through worlds and bodies. That man he used as a weapon.

“Please-”

His voice was choked as he felt his heart clench. He couldn't think of that. He didn't want to think of what he did to those he loved back when he felt he couldn't love them. What he did out of fear of losing them. Out of fear that they would abandon him once they realized they didn't need him.

But they would never do that now.

Dilan had stepped forward first. Expressing his regret. His fears. They couldn't go back to what had been, that was clear. But he wanted to keep Ienzo safe, like before. He wanted to be a family again. To have the chance. Even if the family was much smaller now.

He took a deep breath, closing his eyes. The want to be enough. To keep them safe as well, deep in his heart.

Even was his beloved father. Their bond was strained from years of fighting. From Zexion choosing Xemnas over Vexen. From the snark and lack of trust. From having Lexaeus clearly choose Zexion over everyone else. But he was here now. They both were.

Maybe it was the day catching up with him. He felt so tired now. Like someone was pressing down on his shoulders, making him want to drop his arms. But he wouldn't.

Like before, Aeleus stayed close to Ienzo. But instead of staying behind the younger man, he was beside him. Standing equal. Hand often reached out to his. Their broken hearts beating as one as they worked to rebuild on top of barely there scraps Zexion and Lexaeus left behind. Soft words whispered only Ienzo could hear and glances that he could understand without a second thought. Even with all their cruelty before, their bond would not be broken.

He could feel something else swell through him. Stronger than his magic, but not unfamiliar.

It scared him more than any horror he could conjure.

He opened his eyes, looking out into the swirling darkness.

Looking at himself.

He took it back, that was more terrifying.

Cloaked in black and barely there. Arms hanging limply at his side as they stared at each other. Ienzo could just barely make out the glowing silhouette of his lexicon within the mass of darkness around him.

“It won't come back if you don't accept me,” said a voice so like his own. But it was hollow and clipped. “It's mine, not yours.”

The power was darkness based. It was never meant to be Ienzo's.

“He's mine.”

Never meant to be his.

And like that he was gone, taking the saturated darkness and book with him.

Ienzo stood there, alone.


End file.
